Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
