we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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