If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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