I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
