I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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