so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize