carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
