It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
