what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
