There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
