I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
