i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
