I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
