Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
