you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
