Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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