Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
