I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
