Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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