Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
