If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
