what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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