I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
