woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
