The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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