just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
