no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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