Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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