yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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