Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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