this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
