So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
