I want to have your abortion
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
