If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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