so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
