your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
