OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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