I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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