Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
