I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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