Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
