Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
