dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize