you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
