yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All the doctor said was why
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
