if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
