Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
