All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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