Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
