Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
