I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Randomize
