the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
