I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
