Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to be your penis for a week.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize