yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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