I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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