Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
