so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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